Claire's Essay For the community Christmas Tree Lighting

Out of the box,  I imagine, for most third grade kids.   I loved the thoughtful tone she used throughout,  but I have to say,  my favorite is the understated final sentence: "It probably would have been a good time."  Claire is awesome.

Response from SLC

"In response to your entertaining letter (and no I'm not being sarcastic): We have dismissed the one citation where the wrong space number was paid and that check is enclosed.  We did accept your payment for the first one however.  Also, I can promise you not even a tenth of that number of tickets were issued between your first and second citation.  Please take solace in the fact that we take no pleasure in your arduous journey to SLC, although we did laugh quite a bit at your letter.  Thank you."

Well, 50% success isn't the worst I've ever achieved :)

A Letter to Salt Lake City

(Dear?) Salt Lake City,

 

In the unlikely (but hoped-for) event that you are inclined to take pity on my parking struggles in the form of waiving the cost of two parking tickets from Friday, Aug 15^th of this year, I would like to explain my sad story.

In the morning of that expensive day, I headed to Temple Square.  Going in I knew it would take longer than the 2 hr maximum time limit set by the parking meter, but as an Oregonian, I did not know of any other options nearby.  That’s just to say that I’m from out of town, not that Oregonians as a rule can’t figure out parking in big cities.  Although they do, as a rule, have trouble with pumping their own gas.  We don’t do that over here.  I, for one, am very capable of pumping my own gas (in case you were curious), although I did come close to getting robbed at a Phillips 66 that same day around 9pm, but that’s a different story, and I was narrowly saved from that by a nice homeless man buying eggrolls. 

Having finished at the temple, I headed back to my car to find a half-expected parking ticket on my windshield.  Darn.  All my happy, uplifted, peaceful feelings wiped out by the City of Salt Lake which may or may not be using the 2 hr max as part of a conspiracy against faithful, out-of-town, temple-goers.  I’m just saying, the “Have a Nice Day!” sentiment on the bottom of my pay stub sounded a tad less sincere, that’s all.

But I’m not one to let a $15 fine ruin my day so I carried on about my business and when I returned with my kids to Temple Square later in the afternoon, I was determined to be fastidious about the meter.  We rushed back a couple of times to feed the meter so we could stay longer, which was no small feat when you’re in the middle of the conference center tour with 4 kids, and your meter alarm warning goes off and you’ve got to rush up to the top so they don’t miss the view and back down again and across the block in under 10 minutes with a 4-year-old who has to pee and an 8-year-old who has to stop at every water fountain she sees.  All this in 4 inch wedges no less (although I take full responsibility for my poor choice of footwear that day.  It’s just that if I’m going to be in a lot of pictures I don’t want to look short in them all.  If you are 5’4” or under, I know you will understand.)

Anyway, with the fear of parking tickets already in me, we fed the needy meter at considerable personal cost.  And for some reason, pushing the numbers for the parking space looked so exciting to my 8-year-old that I let her do it.  It must’ve been thrilling because she talked about how cool that parking machine was just this afternoon, 4 days later. 

After our final mad dash back to the car with 3 minutes to spare according to my pay stub, I was appalled to find a second parking ticket on my windshield.  What!?  I pulled out my stub to see if I’d misread the time.  No.  Expires at 18:57pm.  I converted the military time in my head (I’m smart like that).  It was only 6:54.  I wonder what the heck…and then I saw it.  The sad truth was that I had unwittingly paid for spot number 2793 while I was parked in 3793.  Darn again.  Thanks a lot, child of mine who just had to push the buttons.  I calculated the total cost of parking in Salt Lake City that day: $43.50, two blisters, and probably the beginning of an ulcer, although I can’t prove it.  Well, at least the lucky schmucks in spot 2793 got an hour and a half free. 

I’m not really expecting that this will make any difference, but I wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t cash the enclosed checks and decided to show more of that “Have a Nice Day!” attitude I’d like to think Salt Lake City is defined by.  Here’s hoping…

 

Sincerely,

Allison Bevans

 

P.S.  According to the notice numbers on my 2 tickets, it appears that there were 5,269 tickets issued between my first ticket at 10:19am and my second at 6:36pm (or 18:36, if that’s how you roll).  If that is how the numbering system works, surely 5,267 fines should pay the city bills, right??

Favorite Mom

Claire wanted me to get her a spoon and tried to influence me by saying, "If you get me a spoon, you'll be my favorite mom."
"I'm your only mom," I answered
"But that doesn't mean you're my FAVORITE," she countered.
"Oh really?  You have a different favorite mom that's not yours."
"Maybe."
"Who?"
"Amanda Davis."

Sneaky Pants

I asked Eden to go get something from the other room for me.  She holds her hands away from me and says, "Okay, but don't come with me." 
Hmmmmm..... "Uh, why not?" I ask. 
"I just don't want you to." 
"Why don't you want me to?" 
"I just don't." 
"Are being sneaky about something?" 
She nods.
"What are you being sneaky about?"
"Something Dopey probably won't like"
Okay, I'm thinking, what did she get into?  So I go over and check out her hands.  They're covered in nail polish.  Calmly (because you get more honest info out of them if you don't freak out), I inquire as to the scene of the crime.  I check out Sophie's bedroom, and it looks fine.  Thank goodness.  I've had enough blankets and sheets ruined by nail polish to last me a lifetime.  Then I think, "I gotta go type this up before I forget what she said."
As I'm typing, I hear the water running in the bathroom and pause to check it out.  "Hey Eden, where are you?" I call out.
"I'm in the bathroom." She answers.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
Certain that her mom just fell off the turnip truck, she boldly answers, "Just something you won't know about."

Segments from Claire's Letter

Dear Grandma,
     On recess I like to play with the nice boys and do their games.  And sometimes I play horses with Sara and Emma and Camber.  I like playing with Natalia and Camilla too.  When I play with them I like to do a game where one of us is the troll and the others get to choose what forest animal they want to be.  We play that because we did Three Billy Goats Gruff for our school play.  I was a bunny.  I loved saying my part.  My part was "We could cross over the rickety rackety bridge.  The grass is tall and green over there."  One of the blackbirds threw up at close to the end of the play.  (What I mean by "throw up" is barf.)  It was really gross.
....
      In study hall I really like making books.  I once wrote a book about a ghost named Todd and a ghost named Alli.  Todd ate Alli because he was at a funeral and there was no food.  He didn't want to eat the dead ghost and so he ate Alli.

Love,
Claire Margaret Bevans

Eden declared to me earlier today that "boys are handsome and girls are beautiful."  Trying to get her to reveal her little three-year-old crush, I asked her if she knew any handsome boys.  She thought about it for a minute and then looking at the little baby we watch, said, "Zoe's daddy is handsome."

"What about your daddy," I asked.

"He's not handsome," she told me.

"He's not!?"  I asked.  "Why not?"

"He's not handsome because he's beautiful," she explained.  "He's beautiful because he shares his Goldfish with me."

I haven't shared that conversation with him yet...I'll guess I'll figure out how he feels about all this when he reads this :)